Paul's attitude is more complex. In a number of places he seems to have a scornful attitude toward marriage, notably in First Corinthians, where all he will grudgingly admit is that you'd better marry if you cannot control yourself sexually, since "it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion" ( I Con. 7: 9). This is a far cry from the attitude of Jesus. Remember, however, before you are too rough on Paul, that when he talks about marriage he does not claim to be writing with divine authority, but is simply giving his own point of view (cf. I Con. 7: 25). Furthermore, as he was expecting the imminent return of Christ, Paul felt that nothing else was very important by comparison. In general he tells people who are married to stay married, and advises those who are not married not to get involved. Better to prepare for Christ's return.
However, in the letter to the Ephesians, Paul (or one of his followers) has a wonderful description of Christian marriage as "under God," and never just a contract of civil law. And while feminine readers will be upset by the suggestion that the man should be head of the household, the main burden of the section (ch. 5: 21-33) is most instructive. The author sees the marriage relationship as analogous to the relationship of Christ and the Church. Take this for example: "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ" ( Eph. 5: 21). Not just because you "respect one another's personalities," but out of reverence for Christ, because Christ can be honored as you honor one another in the marriage relationship. Or again, how are husbands to love their wives? They are to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (V. 25). The complete selflessness of Christ is to be the husband's model. Even if the man is to be the head of the family, he cannot be a despot or a tyrant. He is to be selfless, just as the wife is to be selfless. The whole relationship is to mirror Christ and his love for the Church. The family can be, in effect, a sort of "little church," a group of people whose life is not directed inward upon itself, but outward toward God. Family life can be "a garden of," grace," in which all grow toward the fuller stature of Christ.
The Bible, then, holds up marriage as a very high good, which has God's blessing upon it. The decision you have to make as you approach the possibility of marriage is whether or not you agree that this is marriage as it ought to be. If you do not, then you will feel with regard to sex, for example, that "anything goes, any time, anywhere." Your "reward" will be that you have spoiled and perverted a potentially great and noble thing.
If you agree with the Biblical view, on the other hand, you will do nothing that might lessen for you the ultimate achievement of such a marriage. You will realize that you have been given a great gift by God and that the choice is yours: you can use the gift in ways contrary to his intention, in which case it will be a curse, or you can use the gift as it was intended by him to be used, in which case it will be a blessing.
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